Stress, Stress and More Stress

I learned something this weekend: planning a wedding is stressful. 

Everyone knew it:  my friends, family and fiance as well.  Everyone but me.

I had this romanticized idea in my mind about what planning a wedding with John would be like. Every step would be blissful and we fall even more in love with each other.  Registering would remind us that we were meant to be together forever...not point out different preferences in dishes and glasses.  Choosing music for our wedding would show us that we were destined to dance every dance together forever, not reveal that one of us hates disco music (who hates disco, people?  I mean, c'mon!). 

Overall, things were going smoothly...yes, sorting out the guest list with my parents had its, um "moments" and it looks as if our first choice for invitations has now been discontinued, but still, I couldn't understand why I was coming across so much more annoying than usual to John.  Why the little things were getting on both of our nerves...

Then it hit me: we were planning a wedding. 

Here I was, completely naive and delusional to the fact that wedding planning stress is, well, stressful.  Not to mention all of the usual things that we deal with and manage in our "normal" daily lives:  money, work, social commitments, maintaining a household...all the things that generally cause enough stress as it is.  Add those things with planning a wedding, and a normally high strung, detail oriented person and: WAPAP!  You have a stressed out bride to be. 

The funny thing is, when I mentioned this to John he was completely surprised that I was surprised.  So, I hit up my trusted pal "Google" and looked some stuff up.  There is was: articles upon articles about how stressful wedding planning can be for couples.  But then I read a line that made my day and made me accept that this process will involve inevitable stress and that we were going through what every other couple under the sun has experienced too:  "Change is stressful-even good change".  There it was.  The words I will repeat to myself for the next four months and six days.  If those words are true, then this is the best stress I could ever hope to have.


And in four months, six days and about an hour, there I'll be: walking  down the aisle, both parents beside me, towards the man I love.  And that's all that will matter.  Not the font we chose for the invitations, not the salad bowl we registered for, not the music played at our wedding.  I know that at that moment, everything will fall into place and all of the so called "stress" will be worth it.  Even if there is no disco music played at our wedding...but I'm still working on that one.

"To Do" before "I Do"

I am a person who does not like having things hanging over my head.  Someone who thrives on crossing out things that are on my to do list.  Generally speaking, my normal to-do list looks something like this:

Pick up cat food
Grocery shop
Buy birthday gift for Saturday's party
Get oil changed in car

Not bad, right?  Totally manageable.

However, once I got engaged, my to-do list went from manageable to manic.  The sheer volume of things to address, big and small when planning a wedding is staggering.  However, because of how much I love to cross things off my list (I'm not kidding...I really do experience joy and a sense of accomplishment from drawing lines through words on paper), our wedding is pretty much planned inside of 10 weeks...kinda.

This time, though, every time I cross one thing out, two more appear.  Hire florist...check.  Schedule tastings...check.  Figure out hotel arrangements for out-of-towners, find shoes, schedule hair and makeup trial runs, order invitations, plan this, buy that, call her, e-mail him.  The list goes on and on.  And when will it stop?  Once I say "I do", I suppose.  So, I have another 130+ days ( I don't literally count the days, but the big countdown is listed on our registries) to obsess, worry, enjoy, plan, obsess some more and get it all done. 

Fortunately, my fiance has been a steady ship, cruising right along next to me.  He looks at wedding invitation samples with me.  He listened to me ramble on and on about whether or not the glasses we registered for "go well enough" with what will be our new dishes.  He listens to me when I tell him that I found the cutest spatula to add to our registry.  I mean, really, who cares about a spatula?   However, he manages to stay on course, not wavering or over thinking any part of this process, while I feel as if I am an erratic worrier every step of the way.  I guess that Venus and Mars theory really does hold water.  Fortunately, the yin and yang thing holds water as well.  He is definitely calm and I'm well...not.

But, as we make our way to our big day, I know it will all get done.  The to-do list will slowly shrink, the pressing decisions will dissipate and the plans will come to fruition.  And in the end, we will have one thing left on our collective to do list: live happily ever after.